Changing the Conversation

Many forms of domestic violence have obvious physical manifestations. Emotional abuse is subtle and often goes unseen. The victim may not even recognize that they are being abused. Emotional abuse does not leave black eyes or broken bones, but it seriously damages self-esteem and leaves scars on your soul. It took me almost ten years to realize I was in this kind of abusive relationship, and even then, I was still taking responsibility for my abuser’s actions. It took another five years before I was willing to call it domestic violence.

My closest friends have often asked, “How could you, a strong independent woman, let that happen?” I don’t have an answer. It happened so gradually that I didn’t recognize it as abuse. To outsiders looking in, we had the perfect life. Slowly, however, I became isolated from my friends. I had little self-esteem and felt worthless. The only person I thought I could depend on was the person who was causing me to feel this way.

I am a survivor of domestic violence and all of its consequences and side effects: emotional instability, housing instability, risk to health and safety…all of it. I am a survivor, and this is my story.

Homelessness and housing instability are growing problems in Massachusetts. The number of homeless families in the Commonwealth has increased dramatically by 94 percent between 2007 and 2014.[1] As a progressive state, Massachusetts has long recognized that individual experiences of sexual and domestic violence play a significant role in housing instability, frequently resulting in homelessness.

Intimate partner violence is a societal problem that we all have responsibility to end. Figuring out how we can best respond can be overwhelming. The first step is learning about intimate partner violence (IPV). In this blog, I provide basic information on the definition, prevalence, and effects of IPV. Later this month, we will hear different voices about the intersection of homelessness and IPV. The more we understand about these problems, the more we can end IPV in our communities and our society. Will you join me in the effort to end IPV?